freedom

if i put my ear up against any solid surface, i can feel the fireworks booming from miles away. one advantage of having an upper level apartment is the view it affords on nights like these... i can turn off the lights, open my windows, and peripherally participate in round 2 of this weekend's celebrations.

although my participation in today's festivities was not in keeping with previous years' traditions, i did manage to consume some fabulous barbecue and sweet tea that made me feel very much like an American - especially in regards to our seemingly intrinsic propensity for over-eating and gluttony. i made sure to wear red and white to church this morning, and as previously mentioned, i did get to see round 2 of fireworks tonight... last night being round 1 - sitting in lawn chairs with a band playing, breathing air that sticks to you, a few friends surrounding, and my heart erupting along with the fireworks in the sky.

- - -

this morning at church, the message was about God's power.

obviously this would never happen - but... if i had been asked, to hand-pick a message for this morning... a message that would most speak to me, at my deepest point of need - Lauren's deepest need, largest dream, boldest prayer... i could not have picked more accurately than this morning's message. out of all the books, podcasts, videos, and sermons in the world - i needed to hear about God's power today.

not just His strength... His power.

how often do I pray for one without seeking the other? i ask Him to provide me with strength... but how often do i claim who He already is?

admittedly, i have always struggled with fear. on and off throughout my life, changing shape and form as i have grown... fear of the dark, fear of tornadoes, fear of boys, fear of other girls, fear of mediocrity, fear of calories, fear of misdirection, fear of loneliness... fear fear fear. big or small, some part of my life seems to always be shrouded by it, reacting to it, or trying to overcome it.

and i really really don't like to think of fear as a sin. it is a lot more comfortable for me to think of it as "just the way things are right now"... in the meantime, while things are shaky and uncertain, and while i am fearing, i'm going to reach up to a big God, and ask Him for help... which is always the right thing to do... right?

oh, how He loves us. how He sees through this lie that we tell ourselves... that i tell myself. how graciously He inserts a reminder into a sunday morning church service, on a national holiday honoring freedom - that in Himself, there is power. there is no room for fear.

if i have made room for fear... that is my doing. if He is in me, like i truly say and believe that He is... then i have no right to fear anything, other than His righteousness, holiness, sovereignty, and power.

nothing else. nobody else. no other time or place, no matter what. no fear.

in His name, there is power...

and in that power, there is freedom.