All is Well
For me, one of the sweet joys of December is that every free, 'off-day' becomes Christmasey, by default. Since the moment I woke up this morning, I have been engaging in some sort of Christmas-related activity... wrapping presents, cleaning the house before we leave town for the holidays, watching 'White Christmas' for the third time on Netflix, baking cookies, etc...
Even though Tim has been gone for the entire month so far, I've been keeping my spirits up by enjoying the little things this season especially contributes. Our balcony is strung with icicle lights, the trees inside are lit up and ornamented with memories, and at any time of day or night, I can be found wearing some form of Christmas-themed socks. The fact that I wear Christmas-themed socks all year round contributes even more to the gloriousness of it all - because for once, December allows me an excuse to be eccentric.
These Christmasey days have been glorious, albeit sometimes lonely - and as the time draws nearer for Tim to be home, and for us to spend time with our families, I find my heart trembling with hope and readiness. Even for me, articulator of details and lover of metaphor, there are no words to describe how much I have missed my husband these past three weeks. I have also missed my parents, my brother and sister-in-law, my grandparents who have gone to be with the Lord, and my dog that passed away two years ago... My emotions have read like an overcrowded Hallmark store, with delights and tears, nostalgia and loss writing themselves across every moment.
At times, this time of year just... aches. It requires a pause in me - it demands it. Even here, when all is merry and bright, I need my Savior, to draw near to me.
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I am sharing my heart and writing this blog tonight, in acute awareness of how many people are hurting right now in this broken world. The media coverage in the past two weeks alone has proven our need for God in ways that have made our spirits tremble - even at Christmas, the most wonderful time of the year. I share my stories and offer them up tonight merely as a small, yet determined arrow, pointing the way to Christ.
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For the Christian, Christmas is a season of joy and remembrance of God's gift to us - His Son, Jesus Christ. We are thankful for our blessings, we are grateful for our families and the roofs over our heads... we are honored to be a part of the greatest story ever told. Often during this time of year, our hearts are attuned especially to the needs of those around us, whom Christ came first to serve, that we might now follow His example. It is a glorious time of year.
Joyful, joyful - we adore Thee - God of glory, Lord of love.
But even people like myself, who know Christ and claim the joy of His salvation, still cannot magically evade our aches and losses, just because of the time of year. There are people close to me who are dealing intimately with sorrows, heartbreaks, grief and loneliness - and the Christmas lights seem to somehow intensify those things, at times.
We are thankful for the ones we have... but we miss those we have lost, and wish they were here to experience all this with us, just one last time. We feel the weight of one more year, drawing to an end... and we still have no idea where all of this is headed. We see the beauty outside... but we feel chained by the knowledge of the ugly things we are fighting on the inside. When the carolers sing of peace on earth and good will toward men... we see evidence of war and the wicked deeds of men prevailing.
For some of us, this season in particular builds up a contrast that seems, at moments, to knock the breath from our lungs and leave us searching - somewhere from the depths of our souls, we know a sense of longing... we wish that all could once again, be well.
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"In those days, Ceasar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria. And everyone went to their own town to register.
So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them in the inn.
And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, 'Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths, lying in a manger.'
Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth, peace - good will toward men.'
So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told..."
Luke 2: 1-20
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Like the shepherds in the field, minding their own flocks by night... we tend to our own business, we follow through on our own responsibilities. We engage our own routines, we deal with our own griefs, we attempt to safeguard what we feel is ours, and we keep our eyes on the tasks at hand...
Until the skies open up. Until glory reaches down, and offers us peace. Good news, good will towards men... Christ, our Savior is born.
He was born, to save us. He came to this earth, not just so He could understand us - but so that we, by Him coming and proving it, could know that He understands us. He did not come to merely be like us - He became like us so that we could see Him being that way, and take comfort in remembering it when we feel that we are all alone. The God who designed us knows that we need to be able to draw near something in order to take any comfort from it. He knows that in our hurt, we crave to see Him. He knows that empathy can forge a bond in us much quicker and stronger than sympathy offered from afar... so God gave us His Son.
To know our tears. Our hunger. Joy. Loss. Weariness. Excitement. Anger. Grief. Hope. Longing. Monotony. Purpose. Dread. Thirst. To know us... that we might know:
In every season and circumstance -
Even with war ravaging the earth -
In the pain that threatens our joy -
With responsibilities on our shoulders -
Though we hunger and thirst -
All is well.
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Even in the loneliness I sometimes feel. Even with a husband away from home so long. Even when the moments never seem to be long enough. In the small joys of a lighted Christmas tree and seasonal socks. In the fear of the unknowns before me. In the hoping for certain things to happen in my life. In the excitement of seeing my family next week. When I'm praying those prayers that no one else will ever know, except the One who was born to offer His life for me...
All is well.
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