good and perfect things

"Every good and perfect thing is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." (James 1:17)

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Everywhere I look, there are bright yellow leaves. Forming piles upon the earth, blowing sideways through the wind, hanging on determinedly to branches... bright yellow leaves have established their kingdom in Franklin, TN, and I am but a humble peasant, delighting in their glory. The richness of color is not limited to yellow, but the yellow ones are admittedly my favorite - always have been. There is something so mysterious and beautiful about seeing that last, extraordinary gasp of color before all of life surrenders to winter's sleep. It's a vibrant goodbye, a hint of what is to come, an echo of what has been... packed into each little leaf, there is the promise of every good and perfect thing.

I am a lover of Autumn, and all of its ways. The way it nudges my cravings towards hot cider and pumpkin pie, and drives me to take comfort under cozy blankets. The sweet re-acquaintance it offers me, to sweaters and scarves. It impels me from within and compels me from without, to look at change as a beautiful and necessary part of this life, rather than something to fear or resist. There is a beauty that it speaks to my heart - of glory, of eternity, and of the Source from which all these blessings flow.

Into death, then into Life... into death, then into Life. Autumn reads me the story, of the way it was meant to be. Of the changes that would befall us, and of the One who exists beyond the reach of those changes.

Of the laws of our nature, and of the One who fulfills those laws by surpassing them with His own.

And on that topic of natural laws...

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I am an easily daunted soul. I have been claimed and branded, redeemed and paid in full - but there sometimes remains a quivering in me. A fearing, an uncertainty... it's like I've somehow reverted back to being afraid of my own shadow.

James in the Bible had some things to say about shadows - but here is what most of us already know, from elementary school: a shadow is an area that light cannot reach, because there is something in the way. There is an obstruction, blocking the light from reaching into the space... we see that dark space, and we name it shadow. The interesting thing about shadows is that based upon where they exist, you can locate the position of the source of light causing them. We all know this, from living in a world governed by the sun - depending on the time of day, depending on what direction we are moving, we can measure our position and our progress, by shadows. Once you know the explanation of it all, shadows are nothing to fear - as I learned when I was a little girl, and as every one of us would claim to know as adults. Shadows prove the existence of a light source - by looking at a shadow, you can tell where the light is.

Supposedly.

But even on this earth, we know that the science of shadows has its limits - even these natural laws cannot always govern us safely - for even the earth must eventually shift in its position, and we lose sight of the sun. Inevitably, darkness falls upon the earth each night and there are moments when we are all without the light's direction. The dark spaces are all that exist, and we are unsure of where we are.

And then there are those moments when my soul feels daunted within me. When it feels like night has fallen, and there is darkness all around - and I can't even look at my own shadow to determine where I am or where I am going... to determine where the Light is.

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James calls this the phenomenon of shifting shadows (James 1:17) He also says that our God, the Father of Heavenly lights, does not change like those shifting shadows. He is unchangeable, and He is the light-source that can always be found - can always be looked for - can always be trusted - and can always make our shadows appear as just shadows again.

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It is so precious to me - how He can reach me through the things that I know, yet pull me beyond them into all that He is. I was walking through the leaves today, coming out of the doctor's office - and there it was - His presence. And then I came home and was reading through James - and there He was again. It makes my heart ache. The way He woos me to Himself, by way of Autumn... by way of all ways.

God surpasses all that I know - and therefore, He is the only one that can sustain all of it within Himself. He is the one thing - the only thing - that exists completely and sufficiently outside of nature, the natural, and all the laws that bind it.

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Beyond the shifting of shadows, beyond the glory of the bright yellow leaves. Beyond these doctor's visits, beyond the circumstances in my life... beyond the cycle of our every Autumn, Winter, Spring, and Summer.

 Outside of, separate from, existing without need of... holy. God alone is the Source of every good and perfect thing that is in my life. God alone is the Source, of everything I love about Autumn in Franklin, TN... and to Him, I am grateful for all these bright little yellow leaves outside - and the hope they have given me today.