thanks and giving

although it is the day before Thanksgiving and technically still "early" to be posting this, i know that tomorrow i will be anywhere except in front of a computer. i plan to be in front of a fireplace (even though the memphis forecast is a dreary mid-60's thanksgiving day), and at each glorious meal i plan to be gracefully regaining any weight i've lost in the past two weeks of working out and running :)

i remain one of the few people i know whose entire immediate family will be under one roof tomorrow - plus a few additions that this year i can happily call my sister-in-law and her family. for these blessings, and each additional day i get to spend surrounded by this family, i am thankful. the past few months, i have especially known the need for their nearness - and i am excited to have an uninterrupted, unscheduled time of loving on them this weekend.

i know that parts of tomorrow's festivities will be laced with heavy memories, as our family deals again with the griefs and the losses we have experienced together, even as recently as this year... i woke up this morning, extremely missing and feeling the lack of our family dog, Gizmo - and last night, i had dreams about my grandparents who are with Jesus. i know that my mother especially will be dealing with these memories tomorrow, and i walk into the day with a prayer - that i can be the daughter and the friend that she will need me to be as we set the table, serve the pumpkin pie, and pray sweet thanks to a sovereign God who knows.

for these moments of unfettered love and remembering, i am thankful.

i have been re-reading through C.S. Lewis' books 'The Pilgrim's Regress' and 'The Great Divorce'... every time i read through these book, i have to make myself slow down and take it all in. compared to many of his books, the allegorical parallels within these texts are not as clearly drawn - but when patiently considered and studied, the parallels between elements of the story and our Story are enough to leave me on my knees. a reminder of the chasm that would exist between ourselves and our God, if not for His reaching down and sending His Son as one who was like us... the great divorce that has separated us from Him, and the marriage that He longs to offer us as redemption for our souls. i spent a good portion of last night, considering and remembering the past that was mine - and i have already spent a good portion of this day, thanking Christ for the present He has given and the future He longs to provide.

for the dawn that is our salvation, and for the bridging of the gap that would have separated us... i am thankful.

and for a refrigerator full of groceries, and clothes that are pretty, and bills that are paid, and blankets that provide warmth... i am thankful.

and for fresh pens that write, and a piano to play, and books to read, and music for listening, and a phone that helps keeps me connected... i am thankful.

from last thanksgiving to this one, a lot in my life has changed. many things have been lost, and many others have been gained - but through it all, He has been present. always giving freely, not withholding Himself when i have sought. there is no sweeter love i have known.

to Jesus Christ, son of God who has redeemed my life with His own... Lord, i thank You.