a lesson in geometry.

two years ago, sitting in a car under cover of night, stalled in a church parking lot, i chose to change my world. there was music to be made, there were places to go, demons to wrestle with, and dreams to chase. my circumstances needed to change, or i was never going to. so... they were changed. the shock worked itself out eventually, as it always does... there was grace, there was healing, there were new things, new people.

i've never looked back, and a lot has changed.

i live in a new apartment now. a new set of neighbors. i go to a new church, i have a completely different group of friends. i have a different job now. two different jobs, actually. very few things on the surface are the same... but that's all just the peripheral. the things that have changed the most though, are the things i didn't seem coming. it has hurt, getting here - i won't lie to anyone. parts of it have broken me, in ways i know i have yet to see. but the reward?

the Lord is my closest friend. He can always become closer - i still have so far to go... but i could not call him that, two years ago.

- - -

and now, i drive by that parking lot every week, and i remember. i wonder. i ask questions i never thought i'd ask again. i feel things i never thought i'd feel again. something is alive, when all else lies dead within me... and it is not the thing i expected to still be alive. it's always a shock, when you thought you were walking on a straight line... and you end up at the place you started from.

for better or worse... some part of me has come full circle.

God, please show me the way from here.