Goodness and Justice

"These things I have spoken to you while abiding with you. But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid." (John 14:25-27) 

- - - 

it's been a day of watching the wooden planks of our deck disappear... a day of working at my kitchen table, listening to David Gray and Amos Lee over our house speakers. the snow and ice have shut down the city, my workplace, and the local schools, and I'm grateful for this gift: a changing of pace, and an excuse to wear house slippers all day on a Monday.

it's been a lovely, icy, drippy, snowglobe kind of day.

and across the world, there are people getting killed. murdered for their faith. a faith i share with them... and it's difficult to comprehend. to balance it. to figure out how to respond, except to sit here and pray, and watch the snow drip off the roof. it hits the windows like tears, settles onto the ground into a pile of white, making its mark yet so quickly melting away... and it's difficult to understand, yet it all echoes the same.

it's always been happening, but now it's flashed in front of our eyes every few minutes. it's more difficult to turn away, get away, hide away. we can't, and it all settles in my chest and makes my heart wrestle with this truth, this sovereignty of God whom I serve... whom they served, and now see face to face.

it makes me grateful. it makes me angry. it makes me feel afraid. it makes me feel safe.

ultimately, it causes me to cling. to once again admit to an all-knowing, all-present God... I don't understand. yet somehow, I have to reconcile in my heart... that I actually do understand. i understand this world we live in, that we will all someday leave - i understand the garden they fell in, the gardens i fall in every day - the separation they felt when they turned away from Him, the separation I feel when I turn away from Him. (Genesis 3) how broken we are, that He came to redeem us... that He did, fully, completely, forever. and yet still, we bear the marks of the mourning. we feel the loss of grief, we experience the fear of saying goodbye. we have unanswered questions that ring more true to our identity than our own name.

but we know He is good. we know He is in control. that He is more powerful, and most powerful. we know that the same God who keeps the balance of judgement at the end of our days, is the same One who causes the snow to cover our rooftops in a way that brings our hearts joy while we remain here.

so we will continue trying to love as He loved, and serve as He served... right where we are, in this part of the world that doesn't force us out of this world when we claim we believe in Him. we will pray as our hearts are troubled, remembering He promised to give us peace. we will claim joy in this life, at the same moment as we ache and pray for the families of the broken.

and we will find some mysterious peace in this truth, that there is nothing new under the sun. nothing changes, while everything changes... but He is always good. He is always with us, and He won't ever  leave.

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. 
Not as the world gives do I give to you. 
Let not your hearts be troubled, 
neither let them be afraid." (John 14:25-27)