Next...

In December 2013, I received a letter inviting me to consider making a one-year commitment. A leadership course would begin the first Wednesday night in January 2014, and would continue weekly until the end of the year. The premise of the course was established on the Biblical story and ministry relationship of Titus and Timothy (TNT).

Resources and teachers would be provided, homework and syllabus would be given... and prayerful commitment would be required.

I still have the letter. It's in a box of keepsakes, beside the big white chair in our bedroom. It's just a piece of paper... I understand that. But I didn't keep it because of what it said.

I kept it, because I wanted to remember how my breath caught when I read it. I remember where I was standing, in our kitchen. I kept it, because I wanted to remember the butterflies in my stomach... the joy. The anxiety. The readiness, to get started. I had been praying these two words, over and over again to the Lord, for months... What's next?

And He answered, with an invitation. He always does.

- - -

Tonight will be the first Wednesday in 2014 that "TNT" is not on my calendar. Even in the Summer months when we had a break from attending class, I kept Wednesday evenings blocked for personal study and reading. It has been a year of challenge,  learning, and growth. I will miss it. I formed some new friendships with my classmates, filled my mind with new (useful!) information, and re-established some disciplines in my own life.

But my biggest takeaway from the course was a re-awakening inside my heart.

For some people, education (specifically, academic education) is something to push through and leave behind. K-12, college, perhaps a Masters... and then, freedom for the rest of your life. But I'm not one of those people. Never have been. In fact, I think about or long for some form of academic setting or challenge in my life, on a daily basis. I am enticed by subjects like English, literature, humanities, church history, theology, spiritual praxis, development, etc... and this past year has stirred all that up again.

- - -

It's a good, hopeful thing to be stirred up by a Spirit I trust - and once again, I find myself devoting a lot of thought and prayer to this. There are already a couple things I've added to my 2015 agenda, to help me keep this part of my life and mind sharp. I'll be continuing to write and contribute the use of those skills in various ways at our church - and I've been offered the opportunity to assist with some curriculum "vetting" there as well. In my personal world, I'm considering some sensible ways to add more structure to my personal Bible study, reading, and blog contributions.

Stirred up. It's the only way to describe what is going on in me.

Once again, I'm speaking that dangerous, beautiful of prayer... what's next? And while I wait for His specific answer, my prayer is that my thoughts, my speech, and my activity live up to this exhortation:

"So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.

Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful.

Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God.

Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father."

Colossians 3:12-17