Prayers (Letting Go)

This past month has been one of many prayers.

Hundreds of them... actually, I'm pretty confident it has been more like thousands of them. Prayers about health, about family, jobs, marriage, finances, friendships... prayers asking for rain so our new lawn can grow, and sometimes asking for morning traffic to move a little quicker. Big things and small things alike, making their way into my head and into my heart - and most often these days, finding their way into a prayer.

As I was sitting at a staff meeting this past week, I found myself staring at some balloons that were attached to each table. That morning, I had several "outside" things on my mind... things going on at home, things going on with my health. And something about the combined elements - those balloons bobbing in the air conditioning, and the prayers floating around in my heart - led me to this thought.

Sometimes, my prayers seem a lot like balloons.

I put a lot into them. I tie them off just right... I let them go.

If you've ever let a balloon loose outside, and watched it float up into the sky, I wonder if you will understand what I mean when I say that this - what I feel in that moment of letting the balloon go - is sometimes how I feel when I pray.

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As the balloon lifts higher and higher into the sky, I train my eyes to follow it until it becomes a speck. At some point, I will acknowledge that I can no longer see it... and that's when the wondering begins. I want to know where the balloon goes.

Does it just pop at some point in the sky, leaving a random string to fall to the earth and get caught in a tree somewhere? Does it cause a panic in the bird community, as they see a floating monster approaching their space? Does it ever arrive anywhere?

I have let it go, and I am not in control of where it ends up. I have let it go, and it is no longer my balloon to keep.

But sometimes I still find myself wondering... what happens to all the balloons?

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As a Christian, one of the greatest gifts we have been given besides salvation, is the opportunity to talk with God. We often refer to this as prayer. There is a lot of information in the Bible about prayer... things like: how to pray (Matthew 6), when to pray (1 Thess. 5:17), what to pray for (Phil. 4:6), and what the purpose of prayer is in our life (Psalm 145:18).

All my life, I have interacted with God in this way. My parents and grandparents provided me with a rich heritage, securely rooted in prayer and the promise of hope that it brings.

I have a memory of being eight years old, laying in my bed with the comforter over my face, praying  to Jesus for my brother not to be sad about what happened at school that day. I have a memory of being twelve, praying because I needed someone to sit with at the lunch table on my first day of school.

More than any other spiritual discipline in my life, I feel that prayer has been responsible for deepening the roots of my faith. Why is this? What is so significant about prayer, in a Christian's life?

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Prayer connects my heart to the heart of God. Prayer re-aligns my passions and my focus. 

Prayer requires me to let go.

To let go of myself. My pride. My expectations. My stuff.

Prayer (done as God intended) is a humbling process. It is an act of worship... it is an act of intimacy, of surrendering and becoming vulnerable with Someone you have grown to trust.

If you have ever had a best friend, or a close loved one... you know how little it takes, in times of stress or times of pain, to come undone in front of that person. There is a comfort level that develops over time, and you know that your friend, spouse, parent - or whoever it is - will stick around through the struggles with you. They won't stop being your friend, just because you are a messy crier. They will forgive you for those moments when you might act like a jerk.

More than likely, all of us have had one of those people in our life - in mine, that person lately has been my husband. Next in line would be my parents, and then close friends.

But even more than all of these beautiful people in my life, the Lord has become that person for me. There is nothing too big or too small to talk to Him about. There is nothing that I can successfully hide from Him anymore... He knows me, inside and out. He created me.

He is my best friend.

I have grown to value His presence in my life, above anything else I hold dear. He has lovingly taught me that there is no sacrifice - there is nothing I could ever be asked to give up, or to let go of - that is more important than being in His will. And His will is ALWAYS for me to be fully surrendered to Him.

Surrender means letting go. Sometimes even minute by minute, which is why Jesus instructed us to pray without ceasing (1 Thess. 5:17).

You can't scare Him away, and you can't need Him too much. Whether you are telling Him thank you for something He has done - or whether you are asking Him for help in a moment of indecision - talk to Him.

Are you scared, or are you fearful about something? Tell Him about it. Is there something you are hesitant to pray for, because it might not happen... and you're not sure what you will do, if God says "No"?

I've been there. I am there. Still... He has promised that He hears, and that He cares. The book of Psalms is PACKED with verses, about how God hears when His people talk to Him, call on Him, ask Him for wisdom, etc... (Here are merely a few references that I love: Psalm 4:3, Psalm 34:17, 1 John 5:14, Luke 11:9)

And this (I think) is the coolest part about prayer... that in this process of letting ourselves go, our hearts are actually changed and re-aligned with the things that Christ deems important. Our minds are re-shaped, and often our lives are too as a result of the time we have spent on our knees. This is why, for me, prayer has been the discipline that has deepened my faith. Prayer has often been the hinge-moment that has kept me from straying, has kept my heart tender, and has sustained my strength each and every day.

And all the beauty starts fresh each time, in that moment when I choose to let go.

Sometimes like a balloon. Sometimes like a petition. Sometimes like a laugh, and sometimes like a cry...

Let it go.