Hello, Day.

It's been one of those nights, when sleep has evaded me. So, I'm sitting out on our deck, watching the sky fade to ever lighter shades of blue... and I'm praying, and I'm writing. If I can't acquire the thing that my physical body requires, I can at least embrace this extra time, filling my soul with the sunrise.

Usually, these sleepless nights only ever occur in groupings, during a stressful time. It happens when I have a lot on my mind, or when my heart is troubled, or (let's face it) when I've been drinking too much coffee that week. And usually after a few nights of this, I will go back to a normal, healthy sleeping pattern and will not have any trouble sleeping for weeks or months.

But the truth is... in the thick of it, it's pretty rough. Although my head knows that this is only temporary, and this too will pass... it is entirely humbling (and frustrating) to not have control in this area of my life. The sleeplessness comes and goes, even breaking its own pattern occasionally - like last night. It inevitably comes right before a busy day, when even a full night's rest would be spreading thin across it.

I'll lay in bed for a while, and try to combat the force of wakefulness. I'll pray, I'll count sheep, I'll try different pillow, different sleeping positions... and then, at a certain point, I will surrender.

And this is the point - as always happens with surrender - that God suddenly feels extremely close. It's the only response, to the only remedy.

I will put on my glasses, tiptoe out of our room, go sit in a comfy seat, and read my Bible. Or I will grab a pen, and my journal, and write out what is going on inside my head, or inside my heart. It's these moments, when the Lord turns this entire situation into something good.

Because even when my body is weary, my soul is wide awake - and in part, I understand what David meant when he wrote Psalm 73:26: "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

My portion may not always be what I expect... it may not be a full night's rest, or a dreamless sleep. It may not be what I think I need, to prepare for a busy day ahead. But when my soul is wide awake on mornings like these, I find myself paying closer attention to the Source of the strength that I need. I communicate, without words, to the God who formed me, and knows me, and sustains me.

Any time with Him, is a precious thing. Today's wakefulness may be a little bit longer than usual, and I may need a boost later from a coffee-shop... but I know Who ultimately sustains me.

He's a sweet Comfort, a holy Company, and a gorgeous Sunrise.