All Else Fails

The bedtime routine is over. It's been a full day. A hidden day, not showy, mostly under wraps... but so full, my brain seems to be emitting a sound. 

I deep-cleaned the countertops and appliances today, while answering questions about frogs. I helped little hands thread necklace beads onto a string, while the water on the stove began to boil over, right as the dentist finally called me back. 

I threw in a quick load of laundry, while continuing a conversation with my four year old in the other room, pulling from the recesses of my brain the exact location of the sock she wore yesterday. I swept the floors, while listening to a story being told from one, reminding them both to put their plates in the sink. 

Writing an email, while speaking the words "That's okay, just sound it out." Getting the clothes out of the dryer, while answering a theological question from my six year old. 

This is the fullness of a day, and it is rich and lovely, and exhausting. Multi-tasking is taken to another level, and I cry out to the Lord. I am insufficient for all that is needed. There’s no melodrama to this plain and simple fact: I am quite simply not enough. 

There is no "zen" to these moments, there is no breathing deeply to steady myself or center myself. When I feel overwhelmed, there are no mantras strong enough to carry me. There is no self-care sufficient enough to fill me up and prepare me for what each day requires. No coffee is dark enough or bold enough to satiate this need. There is nothing but a cry to a sufficient God, and the answer of His presence and Word.

All else fails. 

- - - 

As followers of Jesus, as mothers, as wives, as daughters and sisters - the world is watching, to see what we reach for in our moments of need. 

- When we are overwhelmed with the tasks, what does our mind secure itself upon?

- When we are thrown into conflict, where does our heart reach for strength?

- When no one is watching, who do we most want to be like? 

- Where do we go to find relief? Inspiration? Accolades? 

In a world full of insufficient messages, mantras, platitudes, and promises... we must answer "Christ alone." It should be on our lips, in our homes, at our tables, in our cars. In between the countertops, the dishes, the laundry, the schoolwork, the doctor's appointments, the pool parties and playdates... where do we go? Who do we reach for? 

There is no self-care on earth that will refresh and restore us like God's Word and presence. There is no other mantra that can cover and carry all the needless things we bear. 

Christ alone. Nothing more, nothing less. 

All else fails.