The Grandest Things

Disclaimer: 

This post is not guaranteed to be succinct, although neither is it guaranteed to be loquacious. It is, however, guaranteed to be an undefined, unmetered jumble of topics and thoughts. But although in so many measurable ways this entry may be lacking... I must proceed with the writing. It is proving impossible to contain all these wonderful, jumbled pieces in my brain any longer. Both by their quality and their quantity, they cannot, will not, and shall not be contained :) Such are the grandest things in my life lately.

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"New truth" found in Philippians 4:8

If you are raised in church, you know this verse: "Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute; if there is any excellence, and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things."

I have this verse framed, hanging up in our apartment. It's been my personal favorite, for many years. In my own heart, I have always understood it as 'things to do instead of worrying'... for the times when I am doubting, it has been an anchor. For the times when I am listless, it is a reason and a purpose.

But now, for the first time, I am seeing its application within my relationships...

"... If there is any excellence, and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on those things."

This is a new challenge for me - both in my marriage, and in all my other relationships. Christ calls us to love one another. To find what is excellent, find what is praiseworthy... and dwell on it. The whole concept of love often showing itself as a choice, now is taking on a new meaning for me.

When I look over the past week of my life, and peer back into some of the interactions I have had with people... it is amazing to see how many opportunities there were for love. God's love. Friendship. Kindness. Sharing of joy. Sharing of pain. The opportunities are pretty much endless... yet, how many of them I missed.

Why? How did I miss them?

Because I was not focusing on the good things. It's a discipline, at which I need to get better. Not simply choosing to "not focus" on the negative... but to actually choose to focus on the good. The true. The lovely. I wonder how much richer my interactions in the hallway would be, if I tried this for a week with my co-workers. I wonder if it would make me a better friend. I wonder how it would impact the way my husband and I communicate to one another.

I have a gut feeling that it would turn my relationships upside down, and inside out. Such is the effect of God's love... which seeks out the good in us, and dwells on that goodness of His Son in our hearts.

Already, this piece (this verse) is impacting tremendous things in my heart and my daily walk - but there are several other HUGE things going on as well. Such as this second grandest thing...

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We found a house.

Please pray for us! We are completely in love with a house which we hope will very soon be 'our home'. All the papers are signed, and we are simply waiting for our closing date.

Things I am grateful for in this process:

My husband. His attention to detail, his hours of research, his confidence and to-the-point-edness, his capacity for dreaming big even in a stressful process... there aren't words. He's the type of guy I always wanted by my side when I dreamed of buying a house someday... and I'm so glad that by my side is where the Lord has allowed him to be.

Our parents. Their counsel, their experience, their ideas... the blessings do not cease. To have them involved in this process has been such a precious thing!

My college education. Having a degree in interior design and decorating has proven itself INVALUABLE in this process. We have had the opportunity to be involved in the process of choosing many of the aesthetic details, and it has been such a relief to know how to make these decisions... on a deadline, within a budget. Thankyou, Mrs. Bradford, for pushing me to study hard for all those design tests in college, and for making learning fun. Real life is the true test... and it's a great feeling, to feel prepared!

So! Yes. Pray for us... this is a great stress to have, but it is still stress! I am so tired that there are bags under my eyes, and I am wearing my glasses nearly every day... but I am smiling so big, that I hope it makes up for it :)

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Little Miss Introvert has gone out and found herself a social life!

Tim has been away most of March and April, and instead of allowing myself to stay at home all the time and enjoy the lovely quiet life that I normally lead while he is away, I have all but forced myself to be completely busy. And this is the part where I admit... how much of a challenge this has been at times, for me. But it is also the part where I admit, that the Lord is blessing my socks off. (Don't you just love southern phrasing?!)

This surely comes as no surprise... I like my quiet time. It is rich, and if I'm using it wisely, it is usually full of growth. I read constantly, I write, I study Scriptures and work through Christian literature and history books, I write songs on the piano... It's great, and the Lord can often be found right there in the midst of it.

But I know that there is obviously a ton more to life than just me, myself, and I - and this is where the challenge often comes, for an introvert. Going out and meeting new people, trying new things, joining new groups, testing new waters... these are things that are sometimes a struggle for me, because they seem to highlight the fears and insecurities in my heart, like nothing else can do.

I rely on my Savior, to show me how to act purposefully within the context of the personality and the nature that He has created in me. It is such a sweet reminder, to not only know that God loves and understands my introverted leanings - but He also designed them, and has a place for them in building His kingdom. The past couple months while Tim has been away, the Lord has been doing some acutely targeted work in my life, to draw me out of myself and into the richness of community. He has confirmed many 'first steps' that I have taken, and it has left me humbled, filled up, and ... gasp... ready for more! I have met more new people in the past two months, than I have met in the entire 20 months I've lived here, combined.

Quite simply put... I am 'getting involved'. Proof that miracles can, and do, still happen ;)

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Marriage is harder than we thought.

It's also more truthful, more rewarding, more redemptive, and more beautiful than we thought.

Every single day, it requires more than we have to give, and expects more than we can sustain... But praise God, it does not require more than He can give and sustain! We are realizing this, more and more... and it is an awesome thing to realize.

A few nights ago, I came home with a full heart, from a Bible study I've joined with other married women. It's my first "married" Bible study, and it has stretched, challenged, convicted, and built up so many things in my heart. It's been so nice to talk, to listen, and to learn. On this particular night, I came home with something particularly on my mind:

I wanted to talk with Tim about how he and I were similar.

Can I just insert here... how important it is, to remember the ways you are similar to your spouse?! There are thousands of circumstances each day that highlight the fact that you are different... but Tim and I are (recently) finding that when we draw near to the Lord in our conversations and in our prayers, we are able to once again see the ways that we are the same. It has just begun to add a new level of "epic" to our relationship.

For example... let's start simple. Ways that my spouse and I are the same:

We both love coffee. We both appreciate quiet. We love travel, and prioritize it in our budget. We are that couple who will spend more money on a hotel room, if it has a good view. We consistently crave Jet's pizza and Chinese take-out. We both love boardgames, and going on walks together.

We both value accuracy - in reporting, in living, in storytelling, in portrayal of emotions... accuracy is important. We both have always wanted to be married, and we both look forward to starting our own family someday. We both dream of a owning a collection of books that could cover multiple walls, from floor to ceiling. We agreed to pay money for a membership at the Brentwood library, even though we have a free one in our own 'city'... because we found that it was the prettiest library in Nashville, and we enjoy going to a pretty place.

Oh... And we both know Christ.

Isn't it crazy, how rarely we think about this, as something that makes us the same? Yet, how quickly all that other stuff gets eclipsed - even the other things we have in common - the second we remember it! No matter where we are, or what circumstances we are going through... when all the other things seem so quick to fade in the middle of a stressful day, we have redemption in common. We have mercy in common, and grace in common.

For all the glorious ways we are different, it's so bolstering to remember that we are exactly the same.

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Alas - at some point, this blog has to end...

I'll leave off with a few Scripture verses that have been persistently threading themselves through my thoughts the past couple months. Future blog post topics, perhaps...? I hope you all have a great week :)

"Cast your burden upon the Lord, and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken." (Psalm 55:2)

"You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You." (Isaiah 26:3)

"It shall be, when you hear the sound of marching in the tops of the balsam trees, then you shall act promptly, for then the Lord will have gone out before you to strike the army of the Philistines." (2 Samuel 5:24)

And of course...

"Love is patient; love is kind. Love does not envy; is not boastful; is not conceited; does not act improperly; is not selfish, is not easily angered; does not keep a record of wrongs..." (1 Cor. 13:4-8)