Something I Learned During Nap-Strike

It doesn't happen often, but occasionally my world will end. And by that I mean, occasionally my daughter will go on nap-strike.

You may be thinking strike is a bit dramatic, but that's where you'd be wrong. Because when you're the mom who is depending on sweet baby angel to snooze in the middle of the day so you can ______ (fill in the blank, the glorious possibilities are endless) and sweet baby angel happily and innocently resists your many hints and efforts, it feels like a strike indeed. A forcible hit, a sudden attack of almost military variety. It feels like a refusal to do what's expected, even though it's really not.

Despite its many definitions, for me the nap-strike served mostly as a reality check.

Because the truth is... the fact that my toddler decided not to sleep isn't the issue at all. The real issue is that I didn't know how much I'd come to view her daily naps as something I needed. Something I was counting on.

Something I arguably even felt entitled to.

It snuck up on me, as it often does for all of us - that dependence on something other than God, to fill us with joy. That expectation for something to go a particular way, and the feeling of dissatisfaction when life proves to be unpredictable.

So when baby girl decided to shake things up, something in my flesh rebelled. I needed rest. I needed to catch up on my reading, text a few friends back, make some plans, and wash some dishes. I needed to eat some lunch in quiet, clean the closet, and organize that calendar.

And on some stupid, selfish, subtle level deep under the surface... I felt betrayed.

As if the God who sees and knows all my needs had failed to ensure that my daughter would take her naps. As if the God who is sovereign over the entire universe left out a small detail, and now my week was ruined. As if any of this was ever supposed to be about my comfort anyway.

At the arrival of the unexpected, how did I so easily forget that He asks me to rely on Him alone?

- - -

I'm not actually trying to be too hard on myself. Last week when all this was happening, I didn't make a huge deal of it. I didn't turn into Momzilla or fly off the handle. But my heart was chastened in the presence of the Lord, and I've thought a lot about it this past week.

Whether it's a toddler's naptime, recognition at a job, affirmation from a spouse, or a new diet plan - all of us are counting on something. We are impacted by our expectations, and our behaviors will testify to what our heart relies on. In light of all this, I've had to revisit some elements of my daily life and ask the Lord honestly - What are my expectations for this day? What am I counting on, other than You? 

Even the smallest things can undo a day that isn't fully anchored in the sufficiency of Christ. This is something I learned during nap-strike.