Intentionality

"Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil..." (Ephesians 5:15-16)

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For the first four years of our marriage, my husband traveled a lot. We patterned our days to match a rhythm of hellos and goodbyes. I spent a lot of time on my own during that season, including the majority of my weekends. Even as an introvert who loves to read, write, and does well entertaining myself, that was still a difficult way to spend one weekend after another.

However, there were compensations! Like a husband who was home during the week, who I could go on dates with at 2:00 p.m. on a Monday afternoon. You get the best tables at coffeeshops that way, and you never pay full price when you go to the movies. We spent a lot of time together during the sunshine hours of a work-week, which was a unique gift.

The frequent flyer miles were also a tremendous perk. We traveled to some amazing places.

But I missed him. And although he was perfectly placed in a job and role that suited him for that season of our lives, we both prayed that eventually the Lord would either draw us out into something new, or at least find a way to keep my husband closer to home. God answered those prayers last August, and my husband is now off the road.

But God did teach us many things during those four years.

One of the biggest things we learned was how to be intentional with our moments. We learned how to capture and cherish them. We had to. We had to learn how to make those three minute phone-calls count, and how to be creative on an otherwise common weekday.

And on the days we didn't work to be intentional, it hurt us. When we missed opportunities, our marriage would suffer for that day or that week, even if just in small ways. Heart repairs are hard to do when your husband is on the west coast for three weeks straight. We had to practice intentionality, over and over again. We're still learning. But those days taught me how to be intentional... and I'm grateful for them.

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Intentionality is something the leadership in our church champions a lot, and it's something my parents instilled in me from a young age. But even the most excellent training only goes so far, if not eventually paired with practice. Marriage has been that practice, for me - and now recently, motherhood is providing me another opportunity to be intentional.

In everything.

Not only the big things, but also the small things. In the choices and behaviors that no one may ever notice I'm working so hard to improve. In the habits that are just for me, or just for my husband and daughter. The things that make our home function better, or perhaps guarantee me those thirty minutes in the morning to do a quiet time.

Here's why I believe intentionality is so important...

We are called to be holy as He is holy (Lev. 20:26; 1 Peter 1:16).
We are called to walk as He walked (1 John 2:6).
We are called to love as He loved (John 13:34; 1 John 4:19).

None of those things happen as a result of wishful thinking. Abiding in Christ is not a passive existence. On the contrary - it requires daily obedience, faithfulness, self-control, and death to self. In short, it requires intentionality.

Intentionality restores value and gives meaning to moments that would otherwise slip away unnoticed. It takes practice, but there is no shortage of opportunities. All we have to do is look around, and ask God for boldness to steward well what is already right in front of us.

Like an otherwise completely ordinary Monday afternoon. Or...