684 Days Later

Earlier today, my husband (Tim) mentioned me in one of his tweets on Twitter... And although I always love it when he does this, today's tweet was especially meaningful, to both of us. The tweet was as follows:

"684 days ago, I walked into this coffee shop with Camp Electric girl from Winter Jam. 152 days later, we got hitched. I love @laurenoneill826." 

The reason why this particular tweet was so meaningful is that it encapsulates such a huge part of our story, within 140 characters...

As I thought about 'our story' more throughout the day, I couldn't help remembering how many of you were there with us, watching us, praying with us there at the beginning. The beginning of what has now already been a year and a half of marriage, for us! 

For those of you who don't know our story... remind me to tell it to you sometime :) The highlights are:

We met in a city that neither of us lived in. We dated for two months. We were engaged for two months. We got married, I moved to Nashville, and we've now been married a year and a half. It's a bizarre testimony of "when you know, you know" and we love telling the story. Being reminded of it again today... well, it got me thinking.

These blogs that I often compose are written for a variety of purposes, and are written from many different places in my life - different settings, cities, mountains, valleys, and seasons. But as I often do try to be careful about revealing "too much" on such a public platform, I did realize today how little I have shared about what is becoming, more and more, the most important relationship in my life... my marriage. For those of you who came to Tim's and my wedding on August 26, 2011... I still remember your faces. Sitting there with us as witnesses to the commitment we vowed before God and yourselves. I know how many of you, our family and our friends, still pray for us when you think of us - when you wonder how we are doing, and hope we are doing alright over here in Nashville... 

For those of you who witnessed us (and for those of you who still do) - this blog is written for you. Some updates for Memphis, Virginia, Oregon, Texas, California, Maryland, Maine, Colorado, Oklahoma, and everywhere else that you are.

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One of the songs we chose for our wedding was "Love Never Fails" (by Brandon Heath). The lyrics are written directly from 1 Corinthians 13... that chapter so many of us know, and so few of us know how to do. Tim and I chose the song because of what it meant, what it spoke over us, and for the simple fact that we thought it was pretty. But the irony is not lost on either of us, that we seem to have had more trouble enacting the lines of that song, those Scripture verses, than we have had with anything else so far in our marriage. Here are the verses, straight from 1 Corinthians 13...

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." (verses 4-8)

..... Talk about high standards.

And most days, we really do try hard to meet them. On those days, no matter what happens, our hearts are pure before the Lord and each other. 

And on other days, we get pretty close to meeting those standards, but then we kinda ruin it at some point in the day, because we forget that love is kind. 

And somedays, we DO meet them!! On those days, we make people sick because we are all lovey-dovey, and happy, and triumphant, and just short of feeling immortal. 

And somedays, if we are honest, we just get really lazy... and we don't even try to meet the standards. We forget that we are supposed to be the image of Christ and His bride - and all we represent is another guy and girl, trying and failing to work through the joys and struggles of marriage. On these days, we look pretty boring - and merely a shadow of what we were made to be. 

Any Christian couples out there, who feel like this is familiar? Yeah... we know there are. It has been such an encouraging thing for us to realize you are out there - and I hope this encourages you as well, to know we are there with you, too. 

- - - 

I bring a lot of melodies into our marriage... 

Tim brings a lot of the dance. 

I contribute some sensitivity... Tim contributes the strength. I add some warmth to our home, some insights to our decision-making, some fullness and softness to our relationships with others... Tim is the steadiness in our home, the unmitigated truth-speaker, and the fun in those relationships. He is a child at heart, who still knows how to dream and believe in the good in people... and even when I am quite the antonym of loveliness, he believes in the good in me. 

All of those things that we bring and contribute, translate to our worse days, too... sensitivities can become too sensitive, strength can be too strong, softness can be too fearful, and steadfastness can be stubborn. We are in it together, and we are both in need of Christ's love, constantly pouring through us and making us new. 

- - - 

The past three months have been pivotal for us - as individuals, and as a couple. Both of us have started new jobs... which has been a drastic transition, all by itself. After four and a half years spent managing with a particular band and several months of feeling God begin stirring Tim in a different direction, we took a leap of faith and let go of his salary (gulp) position. God's hand is always in the details, and we have seen Him work miracles in this transition. While Tim is pursuing more opportunities to tour manage, he is also building a new business, seeking wisdom, and finding confirmation around every corner. God is faithful, and seeing my husband at complete peace has eradicated the fears that could have grown in my heart at such a pivotal time. 

I have also started a new job, working as an administrative assistant at our church. Two of the ladies that I work with took me out to lunch yesterday to celebrate my first full month... and today, I went to Office Depot and bought some office supplies to set up my desk and prepare to settle in for the long haul. I am happy as can be with my sticky notes, spreadsheets, space heater, and people who love the same God as I do. The introduction of routine back into my day has also worked wonders for my health, my energy level, and my overall outlook on my daily purpose. My heart is at peace, I've been sleeping better, and I look forward to all that lies ahead. 

And did I mention, I get to wear fun shoes again?! 

In addition to transitioning jobs, we are also on the cusp of another huge change - that of buying a house, for the first time! Prayers appreciated, as we try to navigate the seas of mortgage rates, loans, square footage, inspections, interest rates, and (double gulp)... moving again. It will all be happening this Summer, if things go according to plan. We are excited, and nervous... actually, I am nervous. Tim is excited. We are both excited ;) Moving on.

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Lots of changes. 

We went on a cruise last week, to celebrate one last "Hurrah!" with the guys in the band that Tim has worked with all these years. Their wives came along too, so I got to spent some time with my friends as well - and it was a great week of raising ebenezers and acknowledging all that God has done. 

Tim and I had some good talks out on that boat... talks about the past year and a half, the next year and a half, what we need to fix, what we have cherished most, and what we want our marriage to say of us and the God we serve. There is something of the Divine in loving someone so fully - that admitting your failures and your weaknesses would not be a defeating exercise at all, but one that is cleansing, and powerful, uplifting, and holy. 

We pray that God would continue to show us who He wants us to be. We grow closer, only as He draws us closer, through Himself. 

We are happy, we are grateful, and we love each of you that are examples to us - of what marriage should look like, what love should act like, and what a heart on fire can feel like. 

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684 days ago, I had coffee with a guy wearing a backward baseball cap. We walked half a mile through the sunshine and the cold, and as always, I was freezing. We sat inside a busy cafe, and I could not keep my eyes off of the way his hands looked, holding the steaming cup of coffee. I didn't want the afternoon to end, and every time he looked at me and asked me a question, I felt butterflies in my stomach.

He said few words, but he resonated loudly within my heart... I wanted to know him more, and the Lord still is answering that prayer.

684 days later, and we still go out for coffee at least twice a week. He still wears his backwards baseball cap, and I still feel the butterflies when he looks at me. 

And 532 days later... I still like writing my new name.

Lauren Nicole O'Neill