Longing, and Joy
6 more days until he's home again. Until there is someone else in this house again, with me - helping me eat all the food in my refrigerator, leaving the contents of his pockets on the counter, contributing small sounds to our home the way another set of footsteps and breathing always does. I miss the larger sounds of him, too - his laugh, the bounding roar of him racing down our stairs, his voice, his work-calls on speaker phone, echoing from his office.
It's been 14 days, with 6 more to go.
Let me not be dishonest... I'm looking forward to him being home, and I would trade most things I own, to have him here. I'm relieved that we only do this once or twice a year, because Lord knows I probably couldn't handle more... But. Each time these long stretches of distance take over our calendar, I can't help but see God's hand in this.
This time apart, which always feels so hard and yet always benefits us. How well-suited we are for this lifestyle, even on the toughest of days. These days apart that assist us in not taking each other for granted. That keep us remembering what it's like, to miss someone... to need someone. To tell someone how much we love them.
We make it, every time - and when Tim comes home, the relief and the gratefulness is like nothing else I've ever known. It comes from a sweet, terrifying, bottomless place of emotion in my heart, reserved for him and this home we're building... the home I can't build without him, the home that needs him beside me, to build up a small piece of God's kingdom inside these walls.
The long stretches help me to see these things, freshly. They help me to see how right, how good was the Father who loves us, when He gave us one to another three and a half years ago. Who knows why the Lord entrusts certain circumstances or lifestyles to some couples, as compared to others - and our story is, just simply, our own...but I am grateful that He is with us.
The longing, and the joy... both equal parts of this lifestyle, and both keep me on my knees. But because of that, both are good, and both are necessary.
And for both, I will give thanks.
It's been 14 days, with 6 more to go.
Let me not be dishonest... I'm looking forward to him being home, and I would trade most things I own, to have him here. I'm relieved that we only do this once or twice a year, because Lord knows I probably couldn't handle more... But. Each time these long stretches of distance take over our calendar, I can't help but see God's hand in this.
This time apart, which always feels so hard and yet always benefits us. How well-suited we are for this lifestyle, even on the toughest of days. These days apart that assist us in not taking each other for granted. That keep us remembering what it's like, to miss someone... to need someone. To tell someone how much we love them.
We make it, every time - and when Tim comes home, the relief and the gratefulness is like nothing else I've ever known. It comes from a sweet, terrifying, bottomless place of emotion in my heart, reserved for him and this home we're building... the home I can't build without him, the home that needs him beside me, to build up a small piece of God's kingdom inside these walls.
The long stretches help me to see these things, freshly. They help me to see how right, how good was the Father who loves us, when He gave us one to another three and a half years ago. Who knows why the Lord entrusts certain circumstances or lifestyles to some couples, as compared to others - and our story is, just simply, our own...but I am grateful that He is with us.
The longing, and the joy... both equal parts of this lifestyle, and both keep me on my knees. But because of that, both are good, and both are necessary.
And for both, I will give thanks.
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