an autumn song

I will begin this supremely profound blog by announcing, that I have made a commitment with myself to never again call this present season "Fall".

The minute I call this season "Fall", my tongue feels the shame of it. The unforgivable sin, the abominable laziness of speech! Such an unsatisfactory and wholly unequal descriptive word, when compared to its alternative: Autumn. Season of colors and ciders and crisp breezes... oh the blustering, beautiful glory that is upon us... Autumn.

Never have I found an equivalent.

: End rant :

Today, I played guitar for the second time in months. Although my callouses are gone and my wrists are weakened, it felt like no time had passed. Comfort. As I played, my mind flooded with the catches, tugs - memories of the past 13 years. So many days and nights postured this way, though not lately - sitting indian style on the floor, hovering over the guitar with notepad nearby - feeling the metal and wood under my fingers, as I wrested my thoughts upon notes and melodies. Now, looking back, I can especially see how much of my life has been impacted by those moments spent with the Lord, hovering over a guitar. Piano has always been first in my heart... but I admit, it was surprising today how much of myself I felt return when I began strumming. I humbly recognized... it has been too long. Even further, it is perhaps very possible that I have not been a good steward of this gift.

Beginning earlier today, I've begun praying yet again for courage to play, courage to write truth, discipline to study it, to get better at this again... there used to be a time when I would worship Him with rhythms and rhymes. There is no valid excuse; no reason why it stopped. I see now, clearly - it has been too long since I have had the courage to play all those things He continues to write upon these pages, these walls, these veins. My life, might it be the metaphor of His choosing... But might it become again what it once was so fully.

That it could be once again, a song.